A letter to the editor this past week related the experience of attending the recent awards banquet hosted by the North County Forum, which hands out awards in various categories for those who contribute regularly to the Letters page. The letter's author expressed disappointment in the event, which had apparently been pitched to the public as a "nonpartisan" gathering. The writer took exception to that description, writing that the banquet felt like a gathering of local Democrats -- ending the letter by asking whether there were any nonpartisan groups left in the area.

Opening Webster's New World College Dictionary, we find that "nonpartisan" means only that an organization or group is not directly controlled by a political party.

By that definition, the North County Forum is, indeed, as advertised: nonpartisan.

But what our letter writer was getting at, I think, was a larger point regarding the overly politicized times we find ourselves living in: the desire for a safe respite from the political wars.

From the short letter, I gather that the writer felt out of place at the North County Forum -- which, in my experience, is populated almost entirely by those whose political beliefs are on the left side of the spectrum. So if our writer was conservative, I can imagine he may have felt a bit like a rabbi who wandered into a Baptist revival.

Election season not only lasts forever (Republicans are already beginning to make plans to run for their party's presidential nomination four years hence, much as our president was four years ago), but it's become increasingly lacking in charity of late.

Time was you didn't talk politics or religion in public -- or even over the dinner table. It was recognized that such topics could spark strong emotions, and lead to hurt feelings. And hurting other people's feelings, used to be frowned on.

Such delicacy toward other people's feelings is long behind us today, I'm afraid, and when attending social events of any sort, you're likely to find yourself assaulted with demands to explain/justify/defend your full politicial philosophy over hors d'oeuvres. We live in a time when far too many citizens place a higher value on holding the correct political views than on being kind.

If the dictionary holds that "nonpartisan" means simply the state of not being controlled by a political party, I think common usage implies a certain apolitical neutrality, a safe harbor.

And I don't think our writer was the only one who feels that way.

This pervasive intrusion of politics into all aspects of life is rationalized by both sides of the spectrum with the argument that charity and consideration are frivolous luxuries in the face of the dangerous politics put forth by the other side, that we can't afford to be nonpartisan even for a second when the stakes are so high.

Sigh.

What we lose in such a highly charged atmosphere is impossible to measure, but surely the ability to never let our guard down costs us, if nothing else, the friendship and shared joys we might find in the company of those whose politics differ from our own.

And that seems a mighty high price.

Contact staff writer Jim Trageser at jtrageser@nctimes.com or (760) 740-5408.